a day is special FOR ME and that is enough.

people who want to participate in it are able to do so, and people who don't want to are also able to do so.

My birthday is special because I was birthed, made exist that day however many years ago. The ones who are reminded and want to remind me of that can participate. They don't have to, because they may have a million other things that they're caught up in, and yes, that are more important than you.

Reciprocity is a delicate balance. Is it a tit-for-tat? Is it expressed in different ways by different people?

I am okay.

In fact, I was showered with love from the people who remembered and wanted to participate. And it was beautiful. So lovely and heartwarming and I wish you could always envelope yourself in this light instead of letting yourself be engulfed by the void.

void. not existing. maybe the thought never crossed their minds. and it's fine. many, just like you, have so much going on in their heads that they're just not emotionally there for everyone all the time.

and. my husband is truly the best. because he tries very hard in his own way to show me the love he thinks i deserve. it unnerves me sometimes, but i hope i never feel entitled and take him for granted. he is truly the love of my life.

Be special FOR YOURSELF. do things FOR YOURSELF. be yourself. just be, yourself. love yourself. you are you. jati diri awak itu ialah usaha awak. usaha awak untuk. my jati diri... the fact that i am wondering about it is good enough for now, right?