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of rushed words and hushed thirsts
mellowman

the wave, the surge

Some call it love and some call it sex.
opposites.
Call it what you want, but with one touch and you’re gone, so call in sick.
Human politics, from whispered hushes and distant crushes.
Mental fits breakin’ pencil tips and
inkin’ brushes.
Simple rushes.
God makes man and this is the devil's finishing touches.
- Butterfly Effect -

alfresco

beat, rhythm
questions, answers

movements



brief traces

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Monday, July 27, 2015

8/3/15
Jujur kata, diri ini malu kepada Allah. Terlalu busuk hatiku, terlalu cetek ilmuku, terlalu lemah perjuanganku.
Aku akan cuba. Tapi aku takut. Aku takut kegagalan, aku takut kesusahan. Aku insan yang mudah melayan nafsu, mudah mengambil mudah. Aku ini mudah. Sikap bodoh dalam perjalanan hidup yang tiada ruang untuk orang sepertiku.

3/4/15
No one has time to understand. Everybody's busy with crap in their own lives, so why would they dip their hand into others'?
I have things to say but idk where to do it. Something tangible.
Wish I could pay for a shrink. They have to listen to you.


2:44 PM


Friday, July 10, 2015

It's not like I give much to the world, but I always don't get as much from it. And I shouldn't feel betrayed or self-entitled because the world doesn't owe me anything. The world does not have perfectly-shaped holes that fit what I want. The world is different and varied and wild. The world tosses you things you'd never want but it expects you to still be you.

You. And I. We are not the same. Not then, not now. So most of the time you and I don't fit and things don't fall in their places and hearts get hurt and minds get lifeless. And life gets bitter.

I tire myself from a constant need for self-assurance and a yearning to please others. Am I not good enough? Am I too loud? Am I too quiet? Am I too sharp? Too snappy? To be myself is to question whether people will accept me. And when there is less than I expect, I crumble inside.



7:01 PM