You bury your soul deep enough so people don't get to it so they'll only see the surface so they can't hurt you anymore over your scattered specks of flaws you see them but you see them in a different light friendship is no longer a point it was something blooming no now it is a memory.

I am a failure.

Ya Allah Ya Allah. Ya Allah Ya Allah Ya Allah.

Because You know best. Help me in my journey of holding firmly to your promises and etching it permanently in my heart.

Ya Allah, may this adversity bring appeasement.

Doubts planted unwantedly, waning my resolution of slowly detoxifying myself from my perpetual hypocrisy. Have I done the right thing? Is my self-righteousness just a manifestation of a deeper obnoxiousness finally uncorked? My purpose is Jannah but my acts have been growing towards the scythe. Astaghfirullah. As low as dirt, as ashamed as a heathen.

Ya Allah, uncouth my soul. Help me. Ease me. Show me the straight path. Show us this path. Amin.

اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيم.
[1:6]َ

When things are blown out of proportion, it seems whatever I do is wrong. Note to self, just shut up. You are not valued.