I'm lost. I will admit it openly and say, I am lost.

A while ago, I read my old posts on this blog and the last update was friggin' July of last year. I have this so-called passion to write and yet i don't write. I'm a huge hypocrite who thinks she's special because she knows a little bit of English. Sigh. I was better when I was still reading Harry Potter everyday, tirelessly fascinated by the world of books. Now, I just talk the talk but to walk the walk? Never. How cowardly.

I wonder how i had the thought to write and the will to sit still, and write. Write write write. I wrote really bad chick flicks back then. I tried everyday though, not giving a damn about what I was writing, only to what I was doing. And most of the time, it made me feel great.

I have so much time in my hands but I do so little. So many dreams I dream, but little effort. And i expect to succeed? Pfft.

Get a life, Heidi. And it's not the one you're living.