losing isn't really the best feeling in the world but it wasn't the worst that i felt. after pouring so much of my energy, toiling over something i initially didn't care about, and completing it with the help of everyone, i thought i'd be satisfied. really, really satisfied. and i am, i do feel satisfied, relieved, happy. but why does my heart feel so empty? devoid of any real emotions, the hole that's slowly growing in my chest overshadows everything that i'd worked so hard for. there's this shelter in my heart, a shelter that lukewarm emotions can't really tread under. for maybe i am that fragile, or maybe i am just that emotionless. a robot hungry to feel but can't seem to register any of the emotions, true or not true.
i wanted to play the Yes or No game. can i? i can't. because i played it by myself and when i did i went and asked myself questions that i'd been wondering. it didn't work though, i lost on the first round to myself when i couldn't even provide a clear yes or no for a question i really wanted to answer.
if i'm fooling myself, then how many people am i fooling at the same time?
♥ 8:52 PM
