I walk.
It's a brisk walk.
Oft, I stop to catch my breath. More often than not, it's longer than it's supposed to be. Eventually, I continue walking.
At one point, it gradually becomes a jog. Jogging feels comfortable. Jogging feels like home.
The wind blows my sweat away. The wind lifts me up and makes me feel light. It makes me feel happy.
It makes me want more.
So I run.
My running is inconsistent (the pace not set carefully) and erratic (the ragged breathing hitches my throat).
The sun shines bright as I run, forcing me to exert more effort to keep going. The wind pushes me back, right from the start of my running. I keep running. I need to run. The reasons remain unknown to me, but I still continue running. After a while, I question myself, where am I running to?
The moment I question myself, the wind slaps me hard on the face and my guard slips right through my fingers. I fall. The fall doesn’t come with a thud or a clonk, it makes a half-assed crack.
And I break.
The people passing glances furtively at the pieces of me that they see. They try to piece me back, but everytime they do, I break even more.
They scurry off. You are hopeless, they say. You don’t belong here, they mutter.
At last, they leave.
I look around. I see me. But it’s all in my head.
Glimpses of my life flash pass my eyes. It goes on forever. And forever. But it takes to a halt at the question hanging limply (though strengthening as every thought pops), unanswered, because it is unfamiliar.
Where am I running to?
The question doesn’t stop bothering me. Like a broken gramophone scratching the record, unremittingly clamouring a cacophony.
I have found a way to watch videos in my head.
High definition with instant replay.
It is called having regrets.
Labels: a softer world wins at life
♥ 4:42 AM
